The Plight of the Hopeless
by W0lf Star
Summary: Gaius tries to deal with Starbuck leaving him after their 'tryst'


**Title**: The Plight of the Hopeless  
**Author**: Wolf Star  
**Fandom**: Battlestar Galactica  
**Rating**: PG-13 (maybe higher, I don't know)  
**Spoilers**: Basically up through (and including) _Kobol's Last Gleaming: Part 1_  
**Disclaimer**: Yeah, so not mine. In fact, some of the actual dialog is not mine either.  
**Notes**: un-betaed as of yet. (if you want to, I won't mind, though grins)

The Plight of the Hopeless

As he watched her disappear through the door, clutching her dress as if it could hold in her dignity, his heart sunk. Before now, he didn't believe that any real woman could make him feel this way. He didn't think it could be love, but he yearned for the woman retreating down the hall to _want_ his love.

Needing to get out of bed, he looked over to the bottle of alcohol sitting on the nearby table. Though he was still feeling the effects of what he had consumed earlier that night, the residual buzz suddenly wasn't enough. When he finally focused his eyes on the table, however, it wasn't as empty as he was hoping it would be.

Overcome by a combination of shame, guilt and self-loathing, he wrapped a sheet from the bed around his body, even though the blond beauty before him typically aroused his desire to be as exposed as possible. He wished - for now - that he could cover himself with some sort of thick armored shell. The desperate need for a drink overcame these feelings, and he sat on the table across from her and poured himself one.

For what seemed an eternity she just stared at him while he lost himself in the bottom of a thrice empty glass. He couldn't bring himself to look her in the eye, and almost inexplicably, she didn't seem to want to speak with him.

There was a thought he couldn't get out of his head, though.

"Were you watching the whole time?"

"I am always with you, Gaius. Always."

A feeling of having been totally violated washed over him. Instead of responding to her, he just stood up and stumbled back to the bed. Still overly conscious of the other being in the room, he readjusted the bed covers before looking back at where Six had been. He was greeted by an empty chair instead of her familiar presence.

"I'm hopeless," he said into the darkness, and suddenly she was next to him.

"You're not hopeless, just lost."

"I'm _not_ lost. I'm alone, and it is hopeless to believe otherwise, even just for a moment. So, I am hopeless."

"You don't need her to complete you, Gaius. She isn't what will fill the void."

"And who would I have, then? You? God? I have you in my head all the time, but I can't take you to dinner or to a dance. Not the way I could take her."

Calmly, Six sauntered over to the bed, reached out her hand, slowly placed it around his neck and started to squeeze. He felt his entire body start to tingle as the blood flow to his brain began to diminish. As his mind was on the brink of drifting off into forced unconsciousness, she let go and said, "You will always have me, and you will never be alone if you believe in God's love for you. You are an instrument that must play a certain tune. She will clash with that. She will _not_ help you find your way."

"And how much closer am I getting?"

But there was no answer. She had gone, leaving him alone again.

He forced himself to get off the bed, put on a robe and look into the hallway Kara had disappeared down. But she was gone as well. He could only guess that she had run back to her own quarters, happy to be rid of him. It wasn't as if he had been in any hurry to catch up with her, either.

He _should_ have gone after her. Maybe he could go after her now. She was always playing cards. At least, there was a good chance she would end up there. Maybe he could find her and…

"And what? What could I possibly fracking say to her?"

But, he knew he needed to try. He couldn't let her just walk out like this. It couldn't be the end.

When he reached the rec. room she wasn't there, yet he decided to join the game of cards currently in progress instead of leaving. Maybe it would help take his mind off of her. If nothing else, maybe he would have a chance to put _Captain Adama_ in his place.

As the game became more serious, Gaius felt himself relax a little and let the cards play themselves. His hand had a good chance of winning, and the triviality of the conversation was more soothing than any others he had been having recently.

When Gaeta tried to gracefully bow out, Gaius even noticed himself pouring him a drink in an attempt to elongate the game. What he didn't realize was that his own drinks had finally begun to catch up with him, and the aggravation of having _Captain Adama_ cockily sitting across from him the whole game ultimately became too much.

"You can't compete with me!" Fell out of his mouth before he could stop it. His eyes bore their way through _Captain Adama's_ head, and he continued, "I always win."

A strange sort of satisfaction swept over him when _Captain Adama_ apologized, even if it was said in jest. Before he had a chance to revel in his success, Six was next to him, whispering in his ear and reminding him once again that he would never be free of her.

"I've never seen you like this, Gaius. It's disappointing, somehow. Common."

He glanced at her, and a little, tiny piece in him snapped, "So sorry to disappoint you."

When he realized that all of the other players were staring at him, he added, "Disappoint you all."

With that, he called _Captain Adama's_ bet and placed his cards on the table. Smug satisfaction passed over him when he realized that he _had_, in fact, won. With a little too much exuberance, he pulled the money – _Captain Adama's money_ – toward him, causing a few chips to fall to the floor. Gleefully, he reached down to pick them up.

Maybe he had the worst luck in the world, for right when he had totally forgotten about Kara, she walked into the room. Just like he had wanted only a little while before. And when he sat up and looked at her, all she said was "Gaius" as if he was less than nothing to her.

Without realizing what he was saying, he pointedly corrected her, "Mr. Vice-President to you if you don't mind, Lt. Thrace. Some level of decorum has to be maintained, after all, or is it a pirate ship you're running?"

When she spat back at him "No, it's just a _battlestar_, sir." he actually felt himself long to spring up and slap her.

Unable to restrain his mouth as well as he could his body, he had to continue what he started, "Maybe you'd like to play. You can sit next to Captain Adama."

_Captain Adama_ spoke up at this point also inviting her to join with them, but Gaius didn't pay enough attention to get the details. All he heard was Kara responding to _Captain Adama_ instead of him, declining the invitation to join, and leaving the room just as quickly as she had left his earlier that night.

He felt the world fall out from under him. He was almost surprised that Six wasn't laughing at him. Both women knew he was hopeless now, didn't they?

After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence had passed, and he was able to compose himself enough to trust himself to speak again, he said to the room, "I think it may be time for me to go as well. Thank you so much for the game, everyone. It was a pleasure."

He felt himself stand up. He felt himself walk to the door and open it. He saw the corridors of the ship move around him as he hurried along them. His quarters, when he reached them, seemed a cage meant only to destroy him. Her scent was still on his bed, but he allowed himself to fall on it anyway. He needed his sleep before meeting with the President.


End file.
